2017

How did my life go so wrong?

Everything's just turned out so terrible.

I've lost all my friends and I'm stuck doing this worthless degree that I don't even like anymore. It's like everything I touch turns to shit.

I can't talk to anyone; not even my family - they don't understand, and I don't see a point in trying. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind, cooped up in this house every day. I have nowhere to go and nowhere to be. I'm reminded of this every time I wake up in the morning.    

It's like it gets worse with every passing year. I'm somehow expected to carve out a life in this busy world full of awful people - wade through all the garbage so that I don't drown - that's my reward at the end of the day. You do all these things that you don't want to do, because you need to do more things that you don't want to do. That's how it works; that's supposed to be aspirational. 

Why is everything so difficult?

I've tried to be neutral about all of this but I just can't anymore. I feel like I might just kill myself this year. It would be so easy. I'd just have to bring a stool to the roof of OneCity and climb over the railing. I don't have a purpose in life. I've even cleaned up my room so they won't have to.

I need to go salvage what's left of my degree now. I told them I wanted out. I'm hoping I can get a credit transfer somewhere better. Or I don't know - maybe I'll stay.

I don't know what to do.